"Lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt."

Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces (via quotes-shape-us)

(via vxis)


June, 2013:
How do I even start? You’re my everything. I am in love with you. I love you so much. You makes me the happiest imaginable. I want to call you mine forever and grow old and die with you. I want my last name to be yours. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like you. You’re beautiful and I want to hear everything that’s going on inside that head of yours. Your personality is intoxicating. You make me feel good. And I make you feel good too. I want to make each other better. I can’t write something has beautiful as you. I’m struggling with words. You’re locked away inside the chambers of my heart forever. You’re mine.

August 7th, 2013: We’re “just friends” now. Ever since three days ago. We’re going to give the whole relationship a try in 1 or 2 years when we can really be together. Sucks. But it has to be done I guess. And you know I’m in love with you. But you “can’t love me” and “won’t let yourself love anyone else”. Ugh. Idk anymore.

August 22, 2013- Yesterday I found out for a week and some days, you have been talking to this guy. You like him. It fucking breaks me. It is breaking me. I wish this distance didn’t exist. It’s ruining everything. I know without a doubt that if I was physically there we would be dating. But I have to wait 2 or 1 more year. It’s killing me. I love you so much still. What scares me the most and what actually breaks me is that you may fall in love with him.

August 28, 2013: I was worrying myself for nothing. You know that I know you have a boyfriend and you told me you have a boyfriend because you’re scared of liking me. You like me still. You like me a lot. It makes me so so happy. We are still just friends but that’s only because we can’t be together physically and among other personal things which is why you don’t want me getting “attached” if we were just more then friends. But just asdfghjkl you like me

September 15, 2013: last night was crazy. I was so drunk and I told you I love you and you told me you love me back. You’re in love with me. I’m so happy I could combust with happiness.

October- November- December, 2014: Do you think we’ll ever talk a lot again? I miss you. I’m going through some pretty rough things and I’m scared. I know you’re going through things too. I’m feeling sort of lost without you. Talking to you makes things better. Would you like to talk?

March 10th, 2014: You’re in another relationship now. I think I may drown in my sadness

March 27, 2014: You say you’re just friends. Maybe I overreacted

April. 2014: They started dating but they broke up. I wonder why?

June 8th, 2014: you’re in a new relationship now and this person seems like she could be the one for you. You told me about it and I told you I’ll be alright (lie) and that I was happy for you (truth)

July, 2014: they look pretty serious. It makes me really sad. I remember a year ago I told you that I was keeping my hopes all the way up with you. You told me I shouldn’t do that and I should have listened.

August 7-8, 2014: You told me that you still think of me in those ways at times and that you’ll never forget me and I’ll always have a place in your heart. Please don’t ever make me want to forget you.

August 17, 2014: the person I’m almost dating asked me what made me fall in love with you and why I can’t let go of you. This person doesn’t want to be just a rebound because I can’t have someone I want. Jesus fuck, can everyone see how much you mean to me?

August 31, 2014: I want to forget the things you made me feel. You didn’t make me sad, but this situation has made a turn for the worst. You guys are in love. When I saw you two say you love one another, I broke down. But this was different. I was fighting to breath. Everything that was in my hands dropped to the floor. The tears wouldn’t stop coming even though I kept trying to wipe them away. I could almost drown in them. I could hear my heart shattering and now it’s starting to rot. And I’m okay with that because I don’t want a heart anymore. I’m not coping right. Everything is confusing me. I cover my mouth when I think of you two because I don’t want to scream. My eyes look different, the reflection in the mirror shows a pair of eyes that aren’t mine, they look too sad. How could I let this happen? How could I let myself fall in love with someone like this? The first mistake I’ve made was let you become my happiness. Because you are. I would have kissed the ground you walked on. You never got the chance to see the adoration I have for you shine in my eyes. Because God, do I adore you. I remember one time one of my friends asked me if I loved you because of the way my eyes sparked when I talked about you. I’m far to passionate, that’s my problem. When I love someone, I love them hard. You’re everywhere and it’s making me lose my mind. I made out with someone the other day while drunk and I’m pretty sure he tasted your name down his throat. I remember I was thinking “I wish this was you.” You’re branded in my mind.
We’re never going to be together, we’re never going to be together, we’re never going to be together. Can’t I find someway to accept that? I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t. This is not working out and we both agreed that this was hard. This is too hard for me. You love her. You love her. You love her. I never would have thought you would fall in love with her. My hands won’t stop shaking. I never wanted to write this. I never wanted to say you broke me. But this, this broke.

September 1st, 2014: I hope if you see this, this doesn’t make you cry like it made me cry. I hope you don’t see this but if you do I hope it doesn’t make you sad. I need you happy. For the record I’m happy that you’re happy with her. But I’m begging you, please don’t text or call me, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle it.


Rule #1 never make someone too important in your life because sometimes two people can say one thing but life comes in the way and things can go very wrong -(t.i.f.)

(Source: , via vxis)